There is a veil over the way you love, and the other person keeps asking to be seen without the soft focus. Venus squares Neptune, the idealized love catching against the actual, breathing person. Idealize, and the first real detail crushes you. Strip it all down to fact, and you miss the air the veil used to give. The bill came in stories where you fell for a version and burned years learning the person was someone else. What you ground out was the ability to love the real thing without surrendering the imagination. Poetry used well does not hide the person. It shows them. The gaze you ended up with sees and dreams at the same time.